On my 5th day in Thailand, and my first day in Chiang Mai, I am starting to think this whole traveling game isn’t made for me, or I am not made for it.
Before you start reading, don’t get me wrong: There are still loads of places that I’d love to visit! I am not giving up yet!
I have talked before about making friends on the road, I believed it was easy! Well basically because on my first solo trip, to the Camino de Santiago in Spain, making friends was a lot easier! But it wasn’t me who made friends with people.
Well, other than that couple I talked to on my first night on Spain and ended up spending the night together homeless in Pamplona, I didn’t have the courage to talk to many people. And if it wasn’t for that girl that started talking to me on the second day walking, I don’t know if I would have made any friends. But thanks to her I ended up knowing a lot of people, some of which became really good friends for the rest of the trip, and some even came to visit me in Egypt!
And that is what made me think I would ace the solo traveling issue, I made lots of friends on my first trip before, I can do the same wherever I go. I seemed to have forgotten about the really unsociable me along the way.
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Six days ago I landed in Bangkok, arrived at my hostel and awkwardly exchanged hellos with the other people sharing the dorm with me. I went out alone the following day, which is fine, as long as I am doing something, exploring new places or such.
At night I also went out alone, to Khao San Road, walked up and down the street a couple of times before finally deciding to sit down at one of the bars and have a beer. And a second beer. And what happens? Again, a girl on the table next to me starts a conversation with me.
So people ARE opened to starting conversations with strangers when they are abroad! Why don’t I do it when I most feel like it? I am not sure…
Well that girl introduced me to her two local Thai friends, and we ended up staying late together, and meeting again the two following days.
Now I am in Chiang Mai, and yes, you guessed it, I haven’t spoken to any one in my hostel so far 
Will I do it? I am not sure!
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Another thing that is making me doubt myself with the whole traveling issue is my planning abilities. I am bad at this!
Again, on my first solo trip, though I was really under planned, didn’t have a guide book and most that I knew of the Camino was through Wikipedia, but after all you just follow the arrows, not much planning is needed. And you almost always end up in small villages when in 5 minutes you can walk up all around the village and see what is there to see.
For my month in Thailand, I have no idea where I should go, how to go, or how much it would cost! I do not want to judge quickly, after all, it has only been six days for me here! But so far I do not visit lots of places, nor do I know where to visit.
Lately I decided to check wikitravel to see where I should go in Chiang Mai, there are a lot of interesting places. So now I am challenging myself to actually go there! Given that in Bangkok transportation was way easier than here
******
Well, that is the end of my rant for now. I hope I do visit some places, and maybe have some traveler start talking to me again?
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I can totally rely to what you are saying about not being the one initiating contact with others!! I am absolutely the same – always very happy to meet people and have a conversation, but the others would need to do all the work and approach me. I am always fascinated by solo travel bloggers as they describe how they made some good friends in almost every place they visited. Probably wouldn’t be my case, unless I’m as lucky as you are
Also – I can never enjoy sightseeing on my own. For me it’s so incredibly important to have someone by my side and to be able to share and discuss every little thing going on around me when I’m travelling. Don’t know what I would do without my boyfriend, who’s also my perfect travel buddy!
You’re lucky to have that travel buddy
For me I don’t mind exploring and sight seeing on my own, as long as I am busy doing something, even walking, it’s ok, I only feel a little bored when it’s time to sit and eat or just sit and do nothing…But yes I am lucky 
Even if one boring day passes the next day usually brings some good people 
Go to the bar. Take a book, not a laptop, find someone who looks nice and ask how long they’ve been in town, and whether they know any good stuff to do around town. It’s really easy.
Yeah I think this usually works…just when I actually have the courage to go and talk to the nice looking people. I guess now I know it only happens to me after a few beers
You are a young bird just a few days out of your comfortable nest. Your mind is still on travelling and doing…take time to let it calm a little and settle into a state of being. Find a quiet place…in the open air or by water, or a Church if you wish…and just BREATHE! Completely stop DOING for a few minutes…or an hour…or whatever it takes to still your mind.
Then…promise yourself that you will smile at anyone you see: say hello to anyone who responds to this; and shake hands with them. They are just like like you. Young a little shy and uncertain. Strangers looking to be friendly.
Commit at least one random act of kindness each day. Open a door or stand back to let an elder or mother with children pass you. Say thank you to anyone whp helps you. Focus on the needs of those around you and you will soon forget yourself.
Ask a priest or elder who seems to have time to spare to tell you about the place you are in. They will know the things to see as they have older eyes and an appreciation of things around them. And they will often have more time to talk to you. Make friends with them and they will open worlds for you that the young never see.
It will take you a while to get into your new rhythm. Do not despair. Part of travel is the losing and finding of self.
So my friend, be more still and less frenzied…and learn to BREAYHE and become calm and content in your own company for you cannot relate so well to others till you have learned to live with yourself alone.
Fair winds to you brother!
Mary, this is such a sweet comment, and I am sorry I am replying to it only now! I have read it earlier and it was really helpful!
I have made loads of friends in Thailand, and more friends in Indonesia, and now as I re-read this post, I can only laugh at myself and dream about the next time I’ll travel again
I was totally like that during my month in Thailand! I didn’t plan anything and so I didn’t really know where to go. I mostly spent my time on the beaches of the South. That isn’t bad of course, but I learned my lesson that I like to at least have a basic plan of where I’m going. It helps me get the most out of travel!
Sorry I am replying to this very late, Kit Well, I didn’t learn that lesson yet, and I spend some time in Bali doing nothing, however when I had very long time in Java, I got to do many things without actually planning them!
I agree with you that slightly planning helps a lot, but I would also say that visiting a place that comes out of no where has unbeatable excitement!